CARE AND VALIDATION We just heard Yusuf (as) describe his dream to Ya’qub (as), and now the dad is going to respond with two things: one in this Ayah, and the other in the next. He opens by addressing his son as يا بُنَيَّ – this is an Arabic diminutive (taṣghīr), giving us the meaning 'my young son, my dear son', so it's a loving phrase. Since they were together, there was no need to call out or get the other’s attention, so what function does it actually serve? First, it’s a form of comfort, and letting the child know that what’s about to be said comes from a place of love. The words convey to us the tone of their conversation. And your close family deserves to hear terms of respect just like people outside do, even though we tend to be more informal at home. After all, the Prophet ﷺ told us 'The best of you are the ones that are best to their own families' خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لأهله. Yet somehow people find it extremely hard to pay a compliment to their own family, their own wife or husband! So Ya’qub (as) is saying 'My beloved son' like he’s putting his arm round him, comforting him after seeing his fear, not just from the dream, but from what his father might think of it. All this contains a really important lesson for how we talk to our children, show them love and acceptance, and this doesn’t just apply to the early years. People think they need to be tough with their kids so the kids get toughened up, but sometimes you’re just building walls and destroying confidence. Look at the love here in this interaction, then later on we see that Yusuf (as) was tough enough to face all these challenges, handle himself in jail and speak confidently with the king! That’s not just by virtue of being a prophet, but so much to do with his upbringing, how he was nurtured and empowered. All of what is going to transpire is like a tree grows from the seed which is represented by this conversation. So nothing in the Quran is insignificant… just think about how this interaction between father and son led to the saving of a generation from starvation. Then what’s the end result, the destruction wrought, by you or I failing to nurture our young ones – how much creativity and goodness is lost when people grow up starved of guidance and validation? DON’T TELL YOUR BROTHERS It's pretty interesting that before he tells him what to do, he says 'Don't tell your dream to your brothers.' The word, among many alternatives that could have been used, is لا تَقصُص - the same word qaṣaṣ we encountered already, which is like an anchor in this Surah. What we can learn from this connection is that, just as Allah in His perfect wisdom knows when to narrate something to someone, such as this Surah to the Messenger ﷺ, wisdom is also to know – as this divinely guided father knew – that some stories are not meant to be told to certain people. Even with family, you have to factor in if some of them have a problem, if some cannot be trusted with certain things because of their behavior, if some have been abusive in the past, if some can't handle certain situations because they haven't been able to handle similar before... so don't put yourself in that position when it comes to your brothers. Now, there were eleven stars, and Yusuf (as) had eleven brothers. When Ya’qub (as) warns his son not to tell his brothers, it’s quite clear that the father understands the implication, and knows too that his son understands that it’s about them. So, why not tell the brothers? First and foremost, the basic idea of sajdah is to be overpowered by something. We are overpowered in the awe of Allah when we drop into sajdah as worship. So, clearly it seems that there is a kind of conflict in which the brothers currently have the upper hand over Yusuf (as), but he will eventually have the upper hand over them. The tables will turn, and they will be humbled because of what's been granted to Yusuf (as). Now, the father understands that he and the mother (the sun and the moon) aren’t part of the problem, but the problem are those eleven 'stars'. We can get something from the wording 'your dream' رُؤياكَ – it expresses that this dream clearly puts this boy at the center of attention, and that in itself is something the brothers won’t want to hear. Keep in mind that they're all sons of a prophet, grandsons of prophets, and they’re familiar with divine wisdom and revelation. They know that prophethood is continuing in their lineage according to the promise given to Ibrahim (as). So, this dream gives the impression that this gift will be given specially to Yusuf (as), whom they already don’t like. Not only is he blessed by his father’s love and attention, but now he’s to be blessed by God too! This is a remarkable parallel with the life of our Prophet ﷺ and the Israelites in Madinah who hated the fact that this revelation came to him: أَن يُؤْتَىٰ أَحَدٌ مِّثْلَ مَا أُوتِيتُمْ(3:73), that what they used to be given, now he's getting! And it’s quite remarkable when you think about the narrations which show that this Surah was revealed after some Jews in Madinah asked the Prophet ﷺ 'How did the Israelites end up in Egypt?' – thinking it was a 'gotcha' question, but then the Surah actually has these 'gotcha' moments which expose their jealous attitude. FATHERLY CONCERN Of course, we’re going to hear about all this from the sons’ point of view very soon. But in this Ayah, we are looking from the father’s perspective. Now, we have already come to realize how observant and emotionally intelligent Ya’qub (as) is, in his interaction with Yusuf (as). For exactly this reason, I find it very hard to accept the common suggestion (based on the brothers’ complaint!) that Ya’qub was actually more loving to one son, and less loving to the others. I believe instead that he was a loving father all around, concerned about the wellbeing of all his children. Now, it’s only natural that those who do good, stay out of trouble, and earn good words and rewards. A child who achieves well, maintains good manners, and goes out their way to serve their parents, of course those parents will show their happiness and make du’a for that child. But when another child’s behavior isn’t what it should be, and it’s a struggle even to get them to pray, sometimes tougher words are needed, and this is love too. Ya’qub (as) would have given tough love sometimes, gentle love when it's deserved – but instead of looking at themselves, the other sons decide to blame dad. It’s easier to accuse him of being unfair. But their father knows them and their tendencies, so he doesn’t want things to get worse for Yusuf. He might actually look up to them as younger siblings do, but Ya’qub (as) is telling him: you don't have that kind of a relationship with your brothers. Don’t tell them this good that happened to you; you don't need that kind of attention from them, you actually have what seems to be a toxic relationship with them. This is a highly important lesson for families (and cultures) that shy away from talking about harsh realities, in the name of shielding children from things they’re too young to understand. Sometimes you need to be able to warn them. You can’t control every individual or dynamic in your family, and sometimes it’s just important to say 'Be careful of so-and-so.' The fact is that there is a lot of abuse that happens in extended families, unimaginable, traumatizing incidents behind closed doors, and our reluctance to offer the kind of protection Ya’qub (as) was giving to his precious child is often part of the cause. Then children aren’t believed, 'No you must have imagined it, no it must have been something you did wrong…' – all to protect the family name. If anybody should be interested in protecting the family name, it should be a prophet who is the great-grandson of a prophet. But his energy is directed at protecting the child, and he's saying: listen, you need to keep a safe distance from your brothers. And this is another reality we have to face: rebellious children happen, family discord happens. Even prophetic families had some messed up issues… why? Because Allah knew we're going to have some messed up issues in our families, and we’ve got to be able to take guidance from the best of people at navigating those challenges. But then, at the end of the day, there is only so much you can do, so much precaution you can take. Everything is not in your hands, and you’re not at blame if you did all you could but bad things still happened. So it was written, and that’s something we can understand from how things turned out after Ya’qub’s did all he could at this point; and compare with how things worked out when the mother of Musa (as) did all she could by casting him in the water (28:7-13). A TERRIBLE SCHEME The consequence the father is warning against is فَيَكيدوا لَكَ كَيدًا they'll hatch a scheme, and arguably this extra lām (not needed for this verb to take its object) emphasizes that this is a scheme 'specially for you'. Then the absolute object (mafʿūl muṭlaq) كَيدًا is used to stress the intensity of the act, or the severity of that scheme. Now let me tell you something about this word 'kayd'. The root meanings relate to the fact that scheming is that it's done in secret, and also that it has many steps. The verb has been used in Arabic for a person holding in vomit, or if a woman is about to have her menses كادت المرأة, or when the fire is building up before it's poured out of the bellow. So we have this thematic meaning of something harmful brewing inside, and eventually it comes out. And you won’t know that it's coming until the last moment, when it's too late. So this is the warning from Ya’qub (as) to his son. But how does he know all this? You could argue he knows this by revelation, but I would argue it’s because he knows his kids. He knows that they're two-faced, he knows that they don't talk to him really, only to each other – he walks by and sees them having their conversations – and he knows when they make lame excuses. Contrast this with the son who felt so comfortable to come to the dad – we must assume that he's raised all his children the same way he's raising Yusuf (as), with love, not with spite! I refuse to attribute that kind of unfairness to a prophet of Allah, especially a prophet who’s presented in the Quran as a model father. This is guidance till the end of humanity, so it is likely that Allah would exhort us with the example of a father who was good to some children and unfair to others? So, it rather seems that Ya’qub (as) struggled to get through to these kids, and so he saw how this was going to play out, and feared for Yusuf (as), having seen how they treat him even without the final straw of this dream. YOUR AVOWED ENEMY Then it’s as if Ya’qub (as) says: 'I need you to take a step back and understand something son. This is not a new game, the one that's playing a game with this family is not your brothers, they don't even know they are pawns in a game, and the one that's playing this game with them is the devil. He's been playing this game for a very long time, and he will continue to play every single one of them, and even you and me if he gets the chance. He’s going to come at us with jealousy, with suspicion, he's going to come at us with assumptions and judgment, he's going to come at us with lust and greed, he's going to come at us with hopelessness and despair and fear… he's going to use whatever he can to get to you.' So this is the bigger problem this prophet saw the need to underline: إِنَّ الشَّيطانَ لِلإِنسانِ عَدُوٌّ مُبينٌ – 'No doubt, the devil is an open enemy when it comes to the human being.' He’s going to come at them from every angle, inciting every negative thought, to strip people of the good things of this life and the next. In fact, the resentment felt by the brothers towards Yusuf (as) can be compared with the resentment of Iblis himself towards Adam (as) when he was being created, and all the angels were told that they will be making sajdah to him! The angels asked about something that occurred to them (2:30), but Iblis said nothing, just letting it brew and fester inside. 'Why did He have to create him? What about me, don’t I have all these qualification? I’m made of fire, I've been worshipping for so long, then this mud creature suddenly comes along to get the promotion! What is it You don't see in me, that You see in him?' So that’s what the devil wants for these brothers – he wants to make them feel the way he felt. That’s one thing I learned when studying Shaytan in the Quran. [We will say more on this under 12:8, in sha’ Allah]. Now, what is meant by 'clear/open enemy'? Of course he’s invisible to us, not like in the cartoons. Remember this word مبين was used earlier referring to the Quran; that’s because Allah has made it clear to us in his Book, the fact that Iblis from day one has made his intentions clear. When we know the Revelation, the devil’s plots and schemes are not a secret. It’s as though Ya’qub (as) is telling his son, 'Listen, my sons have failed to recognize the scheme of the devil, they think it's their own feelings, and they forgot the truth that the devil is obviously an enemy to the human being. But son, I want you to remember right now that the devil's game is jealousy, but tomorrow the devil's game might be lust, and the day after that it might be greed, and the day after that it might be arrogance, and the day after that it might be forgetfulness. He will come at you from the front, back, right, left… and it’s the devil you have to develop hatred for, not them! Because there's hope that they’ll recognize the plot, shun the devil, and turn back to Allah.' The last thought I want to share with you is that is no family is immune from complications. Sometimes you have to realize that Allah decided that certain people will be in your life, and they had to be your trial and you had to be theirs, and you're tied to them for life. We might feel that Ya’qub and Yusuf on the one hand, and these brothers on the other, is a kind of mismatch – but it's the decree of Allah that they be family, that they be blood. So we have to understand that people who cause us difficulty aren’t somehow the devil, but maybe they failed to recognize the animosity of the devil towards them. We are also seeing the helplessness of a good father, who knows that his children have a problem. Who better than a prophet to know that his children have a Shaytan problem? And he's yet helpless, because every human being has to take their own steps. You and me coming from a good family doesn't ensure that we're free from the trap of the devil. Even a blessed lineage can have bad products, such as Qarun from the Israelites. The lineage of Isma'il (as) had from it Abu Jahl, so does Abu Lahab, just as it was blessed with Muhammad Rasulullah ﷺ. So, if we start thinking that some blood is more righteous, ethnicity is somehow more righteous, we’ve missed this Quranic lesson.

posts are based on Bayyinah's lecture series. Link to corresponding video: