We live in a world where infliction is on the rise. We harm ourselves with our own actions and subconsciously harm those around us too. Psychologists are unveiling several personality disorders and toxic dynamics which many past generations endured and suffered from—both within themselves and at the hands of their loved ones. Our elders believed in the preservation of the family, which simply meant keeping everyone alive, fed, and culturally intact. The public image had to remain strong, no matter what. If something seemed off behind closed doors, there was no room for questioning, especially if an elder’s mental struggles were evident. Instead, there was an expectation of absolute silence and submissiveness. There was to be no inkling of distress, as social expectations dictated that mental suffering was a sign of a weak character and deficient faith.They were clueless about how detrimental this was to their surroundings. Victims were brainwashed and silenced under the guise of avoiding gheebah (gossip), leaving personality disorders to fester in the dark. Yet, through it all, everyone kept trying to find the exact same solution: peace. This struggle is a profound example of Karb (كَرْب — deep anguish or distress) that still wounds today’s generations. When we continue to experience toxic family dynamics, our sense of emotional safety and ultimate peace is shattered. We come to realize that no power, relationship, or worldly approval can bring true stability and solace. This absolute vulnerability eventually leads us to seek Qurb (قُرْب — closeness) to the Divine Creator. We seek this closeness through Tawakkul (absolute trust in God). When we are manipulated or controlled by our own kin, we channel that very pain into purpose, leaving our anxieties with Al-Wakeel (The Ultimate Trustee). The Quran acknowledges Karb as an inevitable part of the human experience. When Prophet Nuh (Noah) cried out to Allah in his isolation and rejection, the Quran notes: “And We delivered him and his family from the great distress (al-karb al-azim).” (Surah Al-Anbiya, 21:76). Moreover, the Quran highlights Allah's ultimate relief from affliction, stating: “Say, ‘Allah rescues you from it and from every distress (karb), then you still associate others with Him.’” (Surah Al-An'am, 6:64). From this realization, we understand that using our awareness of personality disorders can make us cycle-breakers of generational trauma. Not only will we lift the heavy burden of unspoken pain from our lives, but our healing will serve as Sadaqah Jariyah (continuous charity) for all the generations who come after us. It is through this grueling process of breaking the mold that we truly understand the divine reality of our test on this earth, as Allah reminds us: أَمْ حَسِبْتُمْ أَن تَدْخُلُوا۟ ٱلْجَنَّةَ وَلَمَّا يَأْتِكُم مَّثَلُ ٱلَّذِينَ خَلَوْا۟ مِن قَبْلِكُم ۖ مَّسَّتْهُمُ ٱلْبَأْسَآءُ وَٱلضَّرَّآءُ وَزُلْزِلُوا۟ حَتَّىٰ يَقُولَ ٱلرَّسُولُ وَٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ مَعَهُۥ مَتَىٰ نَصْرُ ٱللَّهِ ۗ أَلَآ إِنَّ نَصْرَ ٱللَّهِ قَرِيبٌۭ ٢١٤ Do you think you will be admitted into Paradise without being tested like those before you? They were afflicted with suffering and adversity and were so ˹violently˺ shaken that ˹even˺ the Messenger and the believers with him cried out, “When will Allah’s help come?” Indeed, Allah’s help is ˹always˺ near.
Sarah ali
3y agoAl-Baqarah (2:214)
المحن لتبيان صدق الايمان
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