We are coming up on a year since the start of the pandemic. I remember this time last year vividly . I was pregnant, in my last trimester with our rainbow baby. My anxiety levels were so high throughout my pregnancy, I was at my heaviest in physical weight and more traumatically - my emotional weight. My heart was working so hard, in overtime, that my heart rate reflected that of a person running a marathon - while I was at rest. I was not ready for any more life changes. But was I more than ready. This Aya is on repeat in my head. You know that song that gets in your head, the one you hear at the supermarket or the mall? Well, this Aya has replaced that song. it has been on repeat for a year. an entire year. and I cannot help but think that is God comforting me. day in and day out. we can plan all we want. but God is the best of planners. God knows better. who are we to question what happens around us, what happens in our Dunya, what happens to us. this pandemic, this life-changing whirlwind of a virus, has changed everything. not ready for change? I had to be. No more playdates, no more group appointments, no more seeing friends, no more activism get-togethers, no more local programs at our center, no more... but also, the blessings that come with the changes. no more long lines, no more unnecessary appointments, no more crowded spaces, no more fake relationships, no more wasted time, no more rude strangers, no more chaos from visitors, no more needing to share my newborn, no more unreasonable expectations, no more... no more anxiety. but MORE. more kind works, more intimate relationships, more friendly strangers, more special memories with my loved ones, more comfort in God, more comfort in the Quran, more comfort in each other. more care, more wisdom, more love, more.....more mercy. I come from a place of privilege, I know. Others had it bad - they have it bad. But I acknowledge and appreciate the privilege, that gift that God gave me. He erased that anxiety for me, and this pandemic was a catalyst for that. Now I am more calm with life, more patient with others, more conscious of my behavior, more aware of God's infinite wisdom, more in belief. I pray that He accepts my belief. Amen.
Salah Soltan
6y agoAl-Baqarah (2:286)
أحبك ربي يا ألله لأنك جعلت أول سورة البقرة 'الم ﴿١﴾ ذَٰلِكَ الْكِتَابُ لَا رَيْبَ فِيهِ هُدًى لِّلْمُتَّقِينَ ' وآخرها ' فَانصُرْنَا عَلَى الْقَوْمِ الْكَافِرِينَ'، وأعاهدك ربي يا ألله أن أهتدي بالقرآن وأن أجاهد الظالمين والكافرين حتى تنزل نصرك المبين.
#أحبك_ربي'الم ﴿١﴾ ذَٰلِكَ الْكِتَابُ لَا رَيْبَ فِيهِ هُدًى لِّلْمُتَّقِينَ ' And its ending ' فَانصُرْنَا عَلَى الْقَوْمِ الْكَافِرِينَ I pledge to You to use the Quran as my guide and to fight the transgressors until Your certain victory is achieved.
#ohebok_rabi
2 Comments
Its like the reflection is telling my story. The pandemic is indeed a blessing in disguise..